Its a dark night in some overly-mtv neonlit road with plenty of colour saturation and tones 
that wouldn`t be found in nature`s spectrum.

The undercover cop d00d drives up to Vin Diesel.

UCD: Hi there, I`m an undercover cop.
VD: Oh.
UCD: I`m afraid you`re a bad guy whos prolly ok but I`m going to arrest you.
VD: Why you little!!! (waves shotgun menacingly)

UCD shoots Vin Diesel in teh face.

UCD: Oh god whyyyyyy!!! The humanity!!! Nooooooooooooooooo!!!

UCD shoots himself in the face.

The other bad gang d00ds get scared and drive off to rob a lorry which they do by 
the obvious tried and tested method of shooting a harpoon gun through the window and then 
shimmy up the harpoon wire from a moving Ford Cortina. Guy who shimmies up the 
wire gets instantly shot in the face by the lorry driver so the whole action sequence 
lasts a very reasonable 10 seconds.

Second gang car which is a Citroen Saxo (with extra large spoilers), decides its time to 
split so he engages his nitrous oxide, although forgets that he only has four cylinders 
which immediately after purging fly through the bonnet in a big oops-too-much-psi explosion.

The last gang car which just happens to be a promod style Dodge Charger drives off quickly 
but when it goes round a corner at speed rolls instantly just like it would in reallife.

The driver of the Saxo sees his mate in the Charger crash, so he drives up to aid his fallen 
comrade, who was miraculously thrown from the car with only a scratch on his arm. Albeit a fatal 
scratch, so he phones for an ambulance.

SD: Err. 911? Hi my mate has had a nasty car accident and recieved a fatal scratch on his arm.
911: Bummer. Where are you?
SD: In the desert somewhere. I think.
911. Bummer. Do you know what road you are on?
SD: Nope we just drove down here following a lorry we were going to nick...err...I mean, 
ask directions from.
911: Bummer. Can you see any recognisable landmarks we can use to find you?
SD: Nope its a big desert with a road going through it.
911: Bummer. Ok, we`ll send Jim, our magical ambulance driver, who can find anyone, 
anytime, anyplace..

Jim the Magic Ambulance Driver (who can find anyone, anytime, anyplace), arrives in his 
ambulance 5 seconds later and saves the Charger driver.

After these 2 minutes are over there is 1 1/2 hours of arty mtv style footage of skylines 
and supras etc drifting around with mucho turbo popping. Spliced inbetween at 15 minute 
intervals is a brief lesbian scene. At the end they all get caned by a McLaren F1 anyway 
which has mucho footage with its mighty V12 roar. (And isn`t gay dayglo pink).

The End.

Copyright Chris-makes-the-best-films-evaire Productions 2003.